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# Conduct of Code | ||
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## Our Pledge | ||
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The code should conduct itself accordingly following all compiler documentations and standards. | ||
Don't pull a fast one on me. Especially on the computers of those in protected classes or | ||
other minority groups. I mean it source code! I'm watching you! | ||
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## Our Standards | ||
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Examples of behavior that contributes to creating a positive computing environment | ||
include: | ||
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* Running on a diverse variety of platforms | ||
* Shallow call-stack depths | ||
* Being respectful of CPU cycles and memory usage | ||
* Gracefully accepting ctrl+c and kill -15 | ||
* Showing useful stack traces and coherent errors | ||
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Examples of unacceptable behavior by computer programs include: | ||
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* Obtuse interfaces that make easy things hard and hard things impossible | ||
* Code that overflows your stacks and buffalos your buffers | ||
* Opinionated code that requires you to work around it like you're in some authoritarian hellscape | ||
* Sexy code that runs in NSFW ways, especially in unwelcomed naughty ways | ||
* Code that breaks for no reason whatsoever and then just starts working again | ||
* Useless error messages that read like James Joyce and William Burroughs did acid together | ||
* Insisting how much better it would be if only we installed your phone app | ||
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## Our Responsibilities | ||
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Project maintainers (that's me!) have the right and responsibility to take weekend bingers | ||
if code is not aligned to this Conduct of Code and desperately type in `git commit -a` | ||
while totally sloshed after tossing office equipment (for instance; pencils and notepads) | ||
at the computer while cursing all those who came before as hapless arrogant architects | ||
of our collective toilsome nightmares. Why have we been condemned to such suffering? | ||
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Apparently someone's ability to do a sliding window brain teaser has very low correlation with | ||
whether they can release good software. | ||
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## Scope | ||
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The conduct of code applies to my computer and yours in public and in private, intimate settings, | ||
late at night, when nobody is looking and you turn off your anti-virus, log in as root and slide | ||
your laptop in home-made lingerie to have your way with it by candlelight. | ||
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We know. We all know. | ||
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## Enforcement | ||
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Ok, I tried playing nice. One more fucking bug and I'll toss this laptop out this damn window, | ||
I swear, don't tempt me safari I've had enough of your shit. | ||
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## Attribution | ||
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Well let's not be too precious about that. |
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